Is Ear-splitting a Business Plan?



I am currently sitting in a roller skating rink listening to the loudest Katy Perry song I have ever heard. Even if I did like her music before this, I don’t now. Loud seems to be the theme here. Everyone has to yell to be heard and that may be the point of it.

When someone started thinking about a business plan for a skating rink, they probably thought of it being a night club for kids. Not sure that is a good way to think but for some reason, it works here. Hang on, I have to clear the blood from my ears before I keep typing.


So, I was saying that loud is a business plan. It may be the fact that I may never get my hearing back and I want it to be for a good reason but being the loudest thing next to a jet engine may be exactly why parents bring kids here. And, that is a plan for profits.

Yes, the carpet looks like it was made by psychotic clowns and the painting on the walls looks like someone who lost their job airbrushing t-shirts at the carnival was the artist, but it works.  I didn’t bring a bunch of kids here for a calm afternoon. I want to wear them out and have them feel like they were someplace special. This has special airbrushed all over it!

Did you say something? It is tough to hear with the ringing in my ears and the table actually moving to the music. I’m distracted. Did you know if you raise the level of base high enough, it will actually alter the rhythm of your heart? Damn you Katy Perry!

I like talking with the kids. I learn something new each time I talk with them. Listening is a big part of my career helping business owners. That is how I learn how to help. At a skating rink, no one is listening. I think the staff is taught to lip read. For the kids, they don’t have to talk with Mom or Dad and can skate away and honestly say, “I didn’t hear you.” I think the best part is when the kids get to yell at their parents and get away with it. Where else can they do that?

Do you have something in your business that is different than everywhere else a customer can go? Is it a restaurant that has singing waiters or a movie theater where the staff gets to dress up like characters in the movies playing? You aren’t going to go to a desk job and see your boss dressed like a minion. You have to find a place like that. If not, tell me where you work. I want to work there too.

I make fun of business owners who keep doing the same marketing and wondering why they aren’t getting more customers. Read Sign Gnomes are a Nuisance on my other blog and you will see what I mean. Do the same things over and over and they happen to be the same as your competition and you will not make it in business long.

I think Katy Perry owns this place. Why do they keep playing all her songs?

What was I saying? Oh yeah, the kids love it. They are skating around and coming over to yell at me. Great times! To the owner’s credit, it is well air conditioned and it doesn’t smell. It is clean and well maintained. She gets it. How do I know a woman is the owner? She is wandering around with lots of gold and diamond jewelry on and is doing odd jobs. I am pretty sure she thinks she is managing the employees by adding ice to the fountains with a sanitizer bucket but that is another story.

There are plenty of average businesses. They make a good living for owners and do a service in the community. Absolutely none of them will survive past the next five years. Average means newer kicks your butt every day. And, there is always someone new to contend with in business.

Sorry. I was going to write more but there was a pause in the music and I had to hit myself in the chest to get my heart to work on its own.

Be different and tell me about it.

Bob Griffin
CEO and Chief Bulldog-in-Charge